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Youth of Canada Mental Illness Awareness Week Entry #2: For the Time After the Next

Updated: Apr 19, 2019



Today I woke up five minutes late.

Yesterday I lost my house keys,

And tomorrow night at 3am I will soak my homework with the mascara stained tears that have been left

on hold since the last time I fell apart.

This is not the first time,

this will not be the last.

I will forgive myself, and eventually

I will forget.

I made a mistake in pen today.

I crossed it out,

ripped out the page,

could’ve even burned the paper if I really felt like it.

Even still, my mistake will not be destroyed.

It will linger in my house of memories until something larger hands it an eviction notice.

It will stay on the inside of my eyelids waiting to taunt me every time I take a moment to blink. But it has

no power over me.

I made a mistake in pen yesterday,

And the day before,

And the day before the day before the day before the day before.

I do not remember the first time,

So I will not remember the last.

I will forgive myself for failing this small activity.

I’ve been writing since pre-school.

At this point it should realistically be natural.

The voices in my head whisper; cooing me into their cave of self-loathe.

I do not remember the first time,

So I will not remember the last.

I will learn to forgive myself.

Tomorrow,

when I make another careless mistake in pen,

I will not burn it.

I will not rip out the page or even cross it out.

I will learn from my mistake,

I will leave it to stare back at me every time I open my notebook. I will give it a seat at the table and offer it some soup,

It can even have the other half of the bed.

This time,

I will add another note beside it, the correct answer this time.

A short letter to my future self.

A helpful piece of advice to look and learn from.

This time,

I will remember.


~ A poem Written by Paula Arkhangorodsky




A message from Youth of Canada: We are here to support Canadian youth and inspire them. For anyone struggling mentally, we hope the stories of our Mental Health Blog series, in honour of Mental Illness Awareness Week, will help you connect and realize that you are not alone. Thank you to the Canadian teenagers that were willing to share their stories with us.

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