Dear Ivy,
I have no routine in my life – but that’s okay with me. Everyone in my family has set routines and even my friends do. I feel like I don’t need it. I feel like I function fine without a routine, but lately everything has been weird. In a way I can’t explain, I feel off. I do things every day, but there is no order and I feel like I’m fine, but I’m also not. My mom tries to push routine onto me, but I don’t know if it will work for me. I just wanted to know what you think about having a routine or any advice on that!
- Lost Girl
Hey Lost Girl!
Routine is very important. It might seem to work for you to not have a routine, and that is okay, but developing some sort of consistency can help you a lot. Routines may seem boring, but it doesn’t have to be. Your routine doesn’t need to be the same old things over and over again. You can have a routine that is routinely un-routine!
Basically, the point of having a routine is not what the routine consists of, but how steady and safe your mind is made through the repetitive motions in your life and the expected outcomes!
Routines help establish habitualness which creates your mood. The mood creates an aspect of your personality and allows you to not be jerked around by impulsiveness.
There is a psychological approach to having a routine that is beneficial. First of all, you should learn to let your conscious decisions dictate your day and not your fears/impulses. With no regulation or self-control, anything can convince you into thinking you want something you actually don’t want. Crafting a routine is a way to help create guidance and balance in your life.
Second, when you regulate your daily actions, you start to deactivate your fight or flight instincts because you do not have to worry about the unknown in your day as much. This reason is why people who have routine and constants in their life tend to experience a lot of joy – because their fear instincts are turned off long enough for them to enjoy the present moment.
Third, when we are kids, having a routine gives us a feeling of safety because it gives us something known rather than unknown. As an adult, it gives a feeling of purpose. Routines can give a feeling of comfort because of the simple idea that you already know how to do something because you’ve done it before!
Finally, routine is just good for your health. When you don’t settle into a routine, you teach yourself that fear is an indicator that you’re doing something wrong, rather than just being invested in the outcome. When you don’t have a routine, you typically fall victim to procrastination and sometimes will encourage you to justify taking gaps and pauses in our lives because you can, not because it is set in your routine.
Routines are good, and I strongly recommend having one. I know for some people it can be uncomfortable and difficult, but in the long run, it can actually help you in your life. Not only in school, but your personal life as well!
Sincerely,
Ivy